Relationships
with Other People

INTRODUCTION

People are very precious to God. Each individual is known to him in minute detail throughout their entire lives, and even before birth (Psalm 139 verse 16). I have a reference book which tells me that every day 364,321 people are born and 147, 137 people die. Therefore, each day there are 217,184 more people on earth with the potential for "seeking and feeling after" God. As the Psalmist says, "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to know!" (Psalm 139 verse 6).

Probably the most difficult problems we have in life arise because of the actions or attitudes of other people, especially those who do not like us. We have only minor problems in getting along with those who love us or those who like us, but what is God's viewpoint on our relations with those people we do not like or cannot get along with, for whatever reason?

THE VALUE OF EACH HUMAN LIFE

Each human life, good or bad, is exceedingly precious in God's sight and he has no favourites. Race, colour, education and all the other criteria we normally use are irrelevant to God.

Consider your own life; your birth, early years, schooling, work, hopes, aspirations, problems and the prospect that you too must die. This is the most that we can know about any individual on this planet and God knows us even more intimately than we ourselves do!

Because God values each individual on this earth so highly, it is not surprising that much of the Bible deals with this subject extensively. David and Goliath, Samson and Delilah, Solomon and Sheba, Adam and Eve, widows, orphans, refugees, immigrants, foreigners, the underprivileged, the sick, those in prison, the poor, the hungry - the list goes on and on.

God's requirements for us in our relations with other people are very demanding and challenging, to say the least!

WHO IS MY NEIGHBOUR?

Who is my neighbour? Jesus specifically answered that question 2,000 years ago by telling the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke chapter 10 verses 25 to 37). His words clearly show that my neighbour is anyone, of any race, creed, colour, age or status who needs help. There are no exceptions.

This sculpture, located in the grounds of Tewkesbury Abbey in Gloucestershire, is called "Soul (Sole) Companions." Note that all their soles are touching! It illustrates that no man is an island and that we all have relationships with other people. Click on the picture for a larger version.

As the story told by Jesus clearly shows, we all have relationships with other people, even if we do not want such relationships! It is easy to do what is best for those we know and love but our relationships, even with strangers, are just as important in God's eyes.

JUDGING OTHER PEOPLE

We must not judge other people (Matthew chapter 7 verses 1 to 5, Luke chapter 6 verses 37 and 38). This is a hard saying because I often find myself doing just this. The trick is to remind oneself that God is the real judge. He knows the true facts and he will judge accordingly.

DEALING WITH OUR ENEMIES

What should our attitude be towards our enemies, those who want to do us harm, or even those who hate us? God requires us to love them, to pray for their good, to forgive them, and to help them if necessary! This is even harder to understand than God's requirements about not judging people. Not understanding it does not excuse us from trying to put this requirement into action.

It is obvious from Jesus' life that we are not to become "doormats" or allow ourselves to be constantly abused by other people. Taking action, e.g. rebuking the abuser or withdrawing from the abusive situation, might be the best thing that could happen to the abusive person. You must still forgive, of course, even while you are rebuking or withdrawing!

It is important to forgive quickly those who wrong us, even before they apologise. In fact, they may never apologise (a frequent occurrence) and then our perceived "wrong" eats away at us and does us harm. Settle such matters sooner rather than later. It is worth noting that, even though we must forgive our enemies, we are not obliged to live with people who hate us or who constantly wish us harm.

Curiously, I have found that nothing much seems to happen at the time of putting these requirements into effect. Nevertheless, although I still smart and hurt when wronged, I am less vindictive and resentful than when I first attempted to comply with this requirement. I am also happier, healthier and such episodes are less of a "big deal."

Jesus prayed for his enemies when they crucified him and while he was still in agony on the cross. He said, "Father, forgive these people, because they don't know what they are doing" (Luke chapter 23 verse 34).

Here are a few of the many references about loving our enemies: Exodus chapter 23 verses 4 and 5, Matthew chapter 5 verses 43 to 48, Luke chapter 6 verses 27 to 36, Romans chapter 12 verses 19 to 21.

CONCLUSION

God's viewpoint requires us to consider each human life as being equally valuable and precious as our own lives. Individuals are very important and precious to God.

There is no real difference between people; race, colour, education, wealth, social standing, abilities; none of these are to be used as criteria in evaluating the real worth of a person.

We must deal as kindly and mercifully as we can with those who hurt us, even if they are our bitterest enemies. Even so, it is obvious from Jesus' life that we are not to become "doormats."

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Page updated 5 May 2004